Eulogy - Joseph De Lord

Eulogy – JOSEPH DE LORD

29th November 2024

It is so difficult to speak for just a handful of minutes about the life of an extraordinary man,our father, Joseph De Lord. I've thought long and hard about what to say and how to convey the huge loss he is to our mother Genny , the extended family, relatives and friends. The many messages of condolence speak volumes about how he was held in the highest regard by all whom he came into contact with. Here are just a few of the messages we've received over the last few weeks. I think they just capture the essence of how special and valued he was to so many people.

● Joe touched so many lives in a beautiful way, never failing to care for others and be of support when needed.

● He had such a calming and loving energy taking care of everything and everyone around him

● He was the cousin who all of the relatives around the world could relate to and rely on for his words of wisdom and love

● He was a man who brought only good to the world and left it in a better place for those he helped

● One of his former work colleagues wrote, he was a lovely gentleman, one of the last and such a kind and thoughtful boss

As a father, he was perfect- always watching out for us, providing for us and always giving us unconditional love. If there was a template of how to be the perfect dad, Joe De Lord would just be that.

As a husband for over 65 years he was loving and devoted. He was at Mum's side as her soulmate no matter what, through the trials and tribulations of life. He lovingly cared for her and provided for our family, making sure that we all enjoyed a stable and nurturing upbringing. Mum and Dad's relationship worked so well not just because of their love and loyalty but because of their openness and mutual respect. Their respective skills complemented each other perfectly. These qualities together with an amazing sense of humour and a spirit of adventure enabled them to live happy and contented lives.

He held his immediate family, extended family and friends very close to his heart. His address book was bursting at the seams (it has since been repaired with duct tape) and its testimony to him that there are so many people here today to pay their respects as well as dozens around the world in Canada,US, Australia, New Zealand, Malaysia and parts of Europe watching the live stream of this mass.

I don't think you'll find many Goans or Zanzibaris who have not heard of Joe De Lord, the man was a legend.

Dad was born 94 years ago on the tropical island paradise of Zanzibar, a place he loved. He was the eldest of 4 children and the eldest grandchild on his mother’s side. Some of you may know that for some years he'd been writing his memoirs and I have to say his memory never failed him, the detail is just incredible.

Here is an entry from his early years when Dad was about 7 or 8 .....In Class One - Sr Edelraud wanted to demonstrate the meaning of family love so they asked my brother Anthony to come to my class and much to my dismay, I had to show affection by kissing him on the cheek!

Uncle Tony, I wonder if you still remember that day !

Dad excelled at school having a particular aptitude in Mathematics and at the age of 17 he left Zanzibar to study for a science degree in Bombay or Mumbai as it’s now called. He was actually considering a career in medicine but his love of Maths led him to study engineering. In 1951 he travelled from Zanzibar to London via Mombasa, the Suez Canal, Malta and on to the UK. There is another section from his memoirs that made me chuckle, covering his journey to the UK at that time, I quote ...’while the ship berthed at Mombasa, I spent a little time with the Cardozo family. The ship's departure was then delayed and I was very happy that I could spend even more time with the Cardozos which allowed me to join them in a picnic at a popular beach. Secretly, I must admit that I was keen on Genny’.

I can just imagine him falling for mum and thinking to himself,one day I will marry that lovely girl.

So arriving in the UK Dad started a degree in Civil Engineering at Loughborough University. He made lifelong friends with other foreign students from Malaysia,Singapore, Hong Kong and Australia. He thoroughly enjoyed university life, he played hockey regularly, initially struggling to cope with frozen hockey pitches. He threw himself wholeheartedly into life in the UK even attending the 1953 FA Cup final between Blackpool and Bolton Wanderers often called the Stanley Matthews final. He even managed to get tickets to see the Queen's Coronation in 1953.

Returning to Zanzibar at the age of 25 he progressed up the career ladder as a Civil Engineer and in 1959 I'm sure he felt he’d hit the jackpot when he married Genny at St.Joseph’s Cathedral in Stone Town. Corinne and I followed during the next couple of years and I'm sure Dad felt that all was good with his young family and that the future looked bright.

Dad always had a reputation for being totally reliable and dependable and I only found out a few years ago that in 1962 just a month before I was born he played a small but important role in NASA's first orbital space flight when the astronaut John Glenn orbited the earth in Friendship 7. Dad's role was to ensure that the satellite tracking station in the village of Tunguu, 15 Km east of Stone Town remained operational. It was just typical of him that he held so many positions of responsibility but was never boastful at all.

In December 1963 Zanzibar became an independent country but soon a promising future was abruptly ended by a revolution the following month and days of shootings, murders,rioting and looting followed. Under duress, Dad was asked to design a new Zanzibar flag for the revolutionary government. At the time Dad wrote in his diary ...sadly it's now time we have to leave Zanzibar. A matter of weeks later the family left for Mombasa but tragedy struck when Dad's father Coney succumbed to a heart attack and died suddenly. So in addition to leaving an idyllic lifestyle in Zanzibar the whole De Lord family had to cope with the sudden loss of their beloved father. I cannot even begin to imagine how grief stricken the family must have been.

in the midst of the terrible situation by giving away remaining items of value in their house such as bottles of liquor and sports equipment.

And so, onto the UK where adjusting to a new life must have been extremely difficult but Dad was driven to establish himself and provide not just for his young family but to support others also. Both he and Mum had an amazing work ethic taking on multiple jobs in order to be able to provide for and establish their family now joined by Stephanie and Jeremy .

He continued his career in civil engineering as a water engineer for the Metropolitan Water Board which eventually became Thames Water and over the next 20 years rose to senior positions within the authority before taking early retirement in the mid 1980s. He made many friends during his work years and was particularly known for the kindness he showed his staff. He was also praised for his diplomacy skills, always finding the stepping stones in resolving conflicts or differences of opinion.

He showed such bravery by returning to Zanzibar during the revolution to tie up loose ends, having safely established his family in Mombasa. He was still concerned for the welfare of others Dad absolutely loved his holidays and in the late 1960s and early 70’s we would make our annual summer holiday pilgrimage to Penzance to stay with cousins who had settled in Cornwall after leaving Zanzibar. Here the De Lord clan were able to re-live picnics on the beach, this time feasting on fish and chips along with pots of biryani and trays of patties and oh yes, plenty of Cornish ice cream!

Then when mum joined Pan American Airways in the mid 70s our lives were transformed by the ability to jump on a plane at short notice and minimal cost, to the other side of the world as if it was just jumping on a bus. Over the next 35 years, dozens of exotic foreign adventures ensued often involving Loretta , Dad’s sister’s family - The Woods, as it was Peter Wood who actually arranged for mum to have an interview at Pan Am. Dad kept a meticulous list of all his holidays with dates, itineraries and even flight numbers!

I always remember his face would light up when he used to tell us of the next foreign trip he was planning.

He was nicknamed ‘Coast Agent’ by Bosco Cardozo, his brother-in- law, due to his detailed planning of foreign trips, colour coded maps and contingency plans given that most travel was on a standby basis. Some years later following the purchase of a holiday home in Eastbourne, trips were a lot closer to home but they still enjoyed travelling abroad further afield but less frequently.

Dad was also an excellent organiser and was very active in the Zanzibar Social Club Committee and he arranged many reunions for St Joseph’s Convent and St Xavier’s College.

Sadly in 2011 following a serious road accident as an innocent pedestrian, he sustained life-changing injuries. However, he rarely

On one particular holiday in March 2001 Dad crossed the international dateline from West to East on a trip to New Zealand , therefore missing is 71st birthday so he spent 2 years aged 70. ! complained and tackled every challenge or hurdle with grit and determination. Open-heart surgery followed a few years later and even at one point when things were not looking particularly good I vividly remember how driven he was, to survive. This strength of character and resilience enabled him to pull through and enjoy a few more years of life.

Despite his disabilities, he continued with his charitable work, he remained treasurer of the St Vincent de Paul right up until a few days before he was admitted to hospital at the end of October. All in all he was treasurer of the SVP at St Anthony’s for almost 60 years. He also served the parish as a eucharistic minister and was a regular church cleaner up until his accident. He had a tremendous passion for service to God and to help those less fortunate.

Dad was a real family man. He loved it when the four of us visited with our respective families and we enjoyed many happy family functions at our homes or various places around the country, especially over the festive period or marking significant anniversaries.

As a Grandfather, he played a significant role in all eight of his Grandchildren's lives. Both him and Mum made sure to celebrate their achievements and will always remain poignant figures in their lives. Dad spoiled them with trips to the RAF museum, bedtime stories, and games of scrabble, which he definitely did not let them win! But most importantly, he made them feel proud of their heritage and our family history. Each of them look up to him and have gained valuable life lessons from seeing him lead by example. They are very lucky that he was their Papa.

Over the last few years succumbing to the inevitable ageing process and progressive frailty, he still kept busy working on the family tree, a passion of his since 1956 and also kept up to date with current affairs, an avid newspaper reader he could still converse on virtuallyany topic under the sun. He also continued to help relatives and friends by being the font of all knowledge and   of sound advice on any financial, legal or general administrative matter.

There was however one area where his prowess could have been brought into question - his cooking skills ! Well,why would you need to develop those skills when Mum excelled in that department. He didn't like to admit it though and a few years ago during a family function dad got a bit of ribbing about the fact that he was rarely seen in the kitchen – Mum turned to him and said ‘When have you ever fried an egg ? Dad in his calm, understated way replied ‘when have you ever done a tax return ! His sense of timing was on par with Morecombe and Wise, it was hilarious.

We will share many more happy memories with you at the celebration of his life at the Golf Club. It is a celebration of a life well lived - 94 years with ups and downs thankfully many more ups.

Dad leaves a huge void in all of our hearts but we are so grateful for having him play such a big part in our lives and for always being there, like a rock. He was most certainly the backbone of our family.

In closing, I just want to share with you something that Mum said as she held Dad’s hand tightly at the end. She said just three words.....‘He was pure ‘

Dad, you were loved and admired more than we ever told you.

You fought the good fight, you finished the race,you kept the faith. We love you; we miss you and you will always live in our hearts.

Now rest in peace.